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10 tips to process your emotions in a healthy and productive way

Writer's picture: Nicole PlantNicole Plant

Emotions.

Funny things aren’t they?

Sometimes you have them well in check, sometimes you absolutely don’t.

And sometimes you think you have but to everyone else, other than you, it is abundantly clear that you don’t.

And that is fine. Sometimes life is just hard work but the key is realising that you need to get a grip.

I am absolutely no medical, psychological or professional expert but can only tell you what works for me and of course, that is not for everyone (half of it I wouldn’t recommend ha).

But to get some other ideas I literally googled “tips to process emotions in a healthy way” and the very first thing that came back was a list of the following seven points…


  1. Draw how you're feeling.

  2. Make a gratitude list.

  3. Punch a pillow.

  4. Scream.

  5. Let yourself cry.

  6. Rip paper into small pieces.

  7. Vent. Venting is not the same as asking for help, it's taking an opportunity to share your feelings out loud.

While some of these are pretty useful tips, with all that’s going on in the world for people right now you could just end up with nothing to sleep on, papercuts and a headache.

The next item went as follows…


  1. Notice. What is it like for you when you recognize you are feeling an emotion?

  2. Allow. Once you notice an emotion and sensation is there, allow the emotion to be there.

  3. Explore. After you become aware you are feeling an emotion and you allow it to be there, begin exploring and observing it

  4. Validate. You can know it is valid because you are feeling the emotion, which makes it a real experience. It can feel like an emotional risk to open the message but the result can end in feeling more internal ease and comfort by processing emotions and letting them move through us.

Now that’s more like it.

Today’s society is much more open and willing to talk about emotions - for men and women - and rather than bottle things up there are many more ways to address emotions and causes and consequences.

Again, I can’t say with any authority, but I have probably done more of this in the last few years than ever in my 42 years.

Maybe as we get older we are more willing or able to take that kind of view of ourselves. Maybe it is the time when we need to because we have, for whatever reason, become more aware of ourselves and others around us. But if you don’t get to that point, it is hard to be the best possible version of ourselves.

It can take many forms for me.

Many times it has been done by speaking with loved ones about the things going on in your head. Occasionally my husband looks at me in utter wonderment pondering his life choices I am sure. Other times it takes a few glasses of wine and conversations long into the night.

Sometimes it is done at the gym (boxing type classes are great for this), running for miles and subconsciously letting things work through your thought process, while meditation and yoga on the other hand is great for relaxation.

But everyone is different, find what works for you and take the time to fix yourself.




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